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Don’t Take Real Estate Advice from Pat Robertson

In this clip from CBN’s The 700 Club, daft codger Pat Robertson tells a woman that she and her husband should sell their new home at half its value ASAP because it is haunted or inhabited by demons. The woman complains of household objects going missing, things falling off of shelves, and noises. She also doesn’t feel quite right in the house, and is disappointed that it needs a lot of work. Those are things that can’t possibly be normal, right?

Once again, Robertson shows just how out of touch with modern reality he is. I don’t know whether his bizarre pronouncements are the products of senility or just willful blindness, but either way I blame his producers and co-hosts for enabling his childish nonsense. Working families who have just gone through the laborious process of buying a home cannot just up and sell overnight because they vaguely suspect demonic activity. In some parts of America, it’s damn near impossible to find affordable, safe housing that meets your needs. Sure, if you’re a rich white man surrounded by enablers, there are “plenty of houses out there.” For the rest of us, life isn’t always so peachy.

Now, let’s say for the sake of argument that this woman’s house is infested with demons or spirits or whatever. Why wouldn’t exorcism be a valid option? Doesn’t Robertson have faith that believers would triumph over Satan?



Fanatical amateur exorcist wins GOP primary in Colorado

Yesterday, Gordon Klingenschmitt won a GOP primary race by several hundred votes, becoming the official Republican nominee for House District 15 in the Colorado House of Representatives.

With the possible exceptions of exorcist Bob Larson and psychic ghostbuster Lorraine Warren, Klingenschmitt is probably the most obsessive demonologist on the planet. After being turfed from his position as a Navy chaplain for disobeying orders, he began webcasting a religious show that makes The 700 Club look pretty sane by comparison. He attributes all of the following things to demons and/or demonic possession:

  • Alcoholism. According to Klingenschmitt, the demons that will inhabit your body if you drink are more dangerous than the alcohol itself. And the images you see while using hallucinogenic drugs are actual demons.
  • Homosexuality. Klingenschmitt has boasted about performing successful exorcisms on gay people, and has likened teaching children about gay marriage to “mind rape”. He likens transsexual people using public washrooms to child rape. Frequently, he makes the bizarre assertion that certain legislation will “enforce” pedophilia in public schools. He defends all forms of discrimination against gays, because they are not fully human.
  • Atheism. (of course)

Klingenschmitt believes that non-Christians should not be allowed any government benefits, since they will not be going to Heaven.

He is also profoundly paranoid. He predicted that federal agents would murder every last person at the Bundy Ranch and dump their corpses into a mass grave. Like Anita Bryant, he believes most (if not all) adult homosexuals are sexual predators who “recruit” children by molesting them.

Most of his claims are so wildly hyperbolic that they verge on satire. But he’s completely serious.

People of Colorado, if this is the man you want representing you – get some help.